So, I can certainly appreciate people's curiosity when we go out. Heck, if I saw me and my crew, I'd stop myself and ask, "Are they all yours??". Or possibly gawk. Or maybe I'd just point and whisper. And, if I were a man out with my wife/significant other, I'm quite sure I'd probably mow over 2 old ladies and run into a stack of Campbell's Tomato Soup just to make sure that I didn't get so close that I might touch, and therefore, catch my Litter Bearing super-power. Sure. I get it. We're kind of a freak show. No problem.
Except there are some days where it gets to be a little too much. I try and keep it in perspective, and be honored and humbled by people's interest in our little family (note blatant play on words here). But sometimes, I just want to run errands on a Saturday in Target like the rest of the population. I get people's curiosity - I do. What I don't get is the questions that people ask, and think that they are automatically entitled to get the answer to. So, sometimes, it's difficult for me to not get a little bit snarky after about an hour of being out in public. (Insert sidebar: I understand that reality TV has made some people oblivious to the idea that just because someone is outside the confines of their home, their life is fair game. However, last I checked, thanks to my wonderful friend Jen Jackson, we do NOT have a dude carrying a mic hovering around us, and there are not 3 cameras following us around, and this is not "18 Kids and Counting". Anywho...on with the post.)
I've come up with some canned responses for the same questions that are asked over and over again. And, I'll share just a few of the humdingers that we've been confronted with, and our responses.
Dislaimer: My apologies if you, my dearest family and friends, have said any of these things. Please know that, if you have at some point in time uttered any of the following, I have loooong since forgotten. And, quite frankly, I don't care or mind those closest to us asking questions. Heck, we're an open book, and I'll tell you pretty much whatever you want to know (and perhaps a little more than you'd like to know sometimes). Where these comments chafe the most is when they come from perfect strangers or people who have known us all of, I dunno, TEN minutes?? (And no, Ms. Nosy Saleslady, asking me what size shoe I need and if I would like to see it in brown or black does NOT make thee a "friend" - even in Facebook-land.)
Q: Wow! Are they all yours???
A: No. They're part of this RentAKid program that we're trying out. With the economy being the way it is, we wanted to see if we could handle being a reality TV show because we're a little short on cash. So, we're doing a little Pilot on our own. So far, we think it's been working out OK, but these triplets have to be back at the shelter by 7. What do you think?
Q: Triplets! Are they natural?
A: Nope. They're plastic, actually. The Sea Monkey variety. They all just kinda got up in my ute, and before I knew it, a whole bunch of 'em had popped up! ::::finish with a big grin::::
Q: Are you/did you nurse/breastfeed?
A: Unfortunately, I didn't grow the third nipple that is typical in triplet pregnancies, so, no, I didn't get an opportunity. (The sad part about this one? It's mostly middle-aged men who ask this question - and not the "Brad Pitt-I-am-a-super-concerned-environmentally-aware-BPA-shirking-Father" type. Oh no. We're talking more like the Chester type who asks the question while creepily staring at your chest. Yay. I guess it comes with the territory to attract this type of individual.)
Yep. That's our life now. And please, please don't get me wrong. I understand the curiosity. I understand the freak-on element. I understand that there are people who look at us and immediately place the blame on me, C and my hyper-producing uterus for all the ills of the world right now (e.g. global warming, the deficit, the housing bubble, the cancellation of "All My Children"). After all, it was our "selfish decision to push God's miracle", right? (Yes, I have actually heard that one.) But, even if we HAD done IVF or IUI (which we didn't), I seriously want to ask these people who are so judgemental about our children, which one would YOU have given up for adoption? aborted?
How is it anyone's place to judge His miracle? Regardless of how that miracle was initiated?
::::stepping down from soapbox:::: Siiighhhhh....
There is no greater pain than sitting across from a doctor's desk, and having him beg you to consider the high risk of a bad outcome, its potential impact to your current family, and then having him strongly suggest selective reduction, while staring at a blurry black and white photo of three tiny hearts. There is no greater fear than going into a sonographer's room every week and waiting to see how each is developing, if one is adversely effecting the other, or if your body is running out of room or otherwise shutting down. And, there is no greater test of one's faith than lying back on an operating table, while surrounded by over 15 of the top doctors and nurses in the state, and having your chief physician whisper in your ear to be prepared to not hear a single cry from one of your babies upon their entrance into the world.
BUT, I will tell you this: (on the flip side) there is no greater joy, my friends, than walking around our house in the quiet stillness of 9:30pm each night, to pat and kiss each of the five little heads that rest under our roof. There is no greater warmth that the feel of three little bodies in my lap, with another four small arms wrapped around my neck at the end of a long day. And there is no greater sense of gratitude than waking up each morning to a house that is immediately "On" with a decibel level that would rival a Kiss concert, even if it's always at the crack of dawn (or before).
So, yeah. Thanks for letting me come full circle on this one with this totally self-indulgent rant. Because what I have realized in the short span of time it took me to construct this post is that, while outsiders may see my life as a reality TV show gone bad, or a bullet that they somehow dodged, I am more blessed than I ever may truly know. And I shall proudly fly my Freak Flag from here on out.
Getcha freak on, peeps!
Stay tuned, and much love...
