Simon (Peter) Says...

Hubby:  "It's been CAR-A-ZY the past few weeks."
Me:  "That's the understatement of the year."

A few weeks ago, Joyce was preaching about stretching your faith.  I was listening, but only peripherally, while I attempted to change squirmy babies' diapers in the dark.  But, thankfully, she started saying something that caught my ear.  She started talking about being tired.  I immediately looked up, quickly finished changing the diaper, and sent The Dude crawling off with his sleeper unbuttoned behind him.

She was talking about Simon Peter, and the third time Jesus revealed Himself after the crucifiction.  Her context was about believing and having faith to push through, even when you're exhausted and have (what you believe) given it your all.  Joyce framed it in a way, though, that as a mother, resonated with me.

So here is Simon Peter and some of the other disciples.  They've been out on a boat all night long, fishing (picture "Deadliest Catch" here) and have caught nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  So, in the early dawn, they pull back into shore and proceed to put away the nets, wash down the decks and everyone is basically doing the fist-clasp-half-man-hug goodbye when Jesus appears and says, "Go back out and go fishing.  Now."

If I had been on that boat, I know I probably would have not cared one lick that this was Jesus in front of me at that point.  I would have been dead on my feet (forget His glorious ressurection from the actual dead), defeated and just ready to go home, crawl in bed and sleep.  And, if I'm going to be perfectly honest, I probably would have been indignant - "Are you kidding me, Jesus??  You DO realize that we were out ALL NIGHT LONG and we caught nothing.  NOTHING!!  And we sail in, finally get eeevvvverrrryyything cleaned and put away and you want me to drag it allll out again, set evvvveerryyything up and go out to a place we know there is nothing?!  NOW???  Whatever, dude.  I'm heading home and getting some sleep."

Ah, yes.  Such is the joyful, open spirit of the mother (note sarcasm here).  The joy of motherhood.  It's hard to feel like it's a joy when you're in the middle of it all, and it is seemingly nothing but the proverbial fishing for nothing most days and nights.  Well, what seems to be nothing, anyway.

But, back to the story.  It's what happens next that is so fabulous about this story to me:
Simon Peter and his crew head back out, at His command.  And, they catch fish.  More fish than they can possibly manage.  The Bible says that they couldn't even pull up their darn nets because they were so heavy with fish.  Wow.  Just wow.

So, here I am.  Mom, wife, employee, daughter, sister, granddaughter, friend, niece, cousin, etc.  Fixer of all ills, wiper of many liquids, stretcher of the time/space continuum.  And, most days, I'm exhausted.  Bone tired.  Dead on my feet.  But, that's what motherhood and this stage of my life is about.  I get it. 

And, the kick-in-the-crotch-fantastic part about it?  (as revealed to me in this story?)

All of these times that I do go out and work myself silly, come back with what I believe to be nothing, and then am asked to turn right around and do it all over again just when I think I've come by a break? 

And, I obey, and DO go back out, despite my exhaustion and frustration? 

Well, that's when those beautiful nets pull up more than I can possibly handle:  the first-spoken-non-prompted "Thank yous" and "I love yous"...the arms thrown around your waist that seemingly appear out of nowhere...the stolen glimpses of sisters and brothers caring, laughing and loving one another.  Those things - they are my fish. 

I just have to keep reminding myself that, when I'm stretched to the limit and I'm asked to go out and do it all over again, it might indeed be a night of fruitless fishing, but the next time, my nets will be full.  And that, friends, is what makes it all worth it.

Stay tuned and much love,



John 23:1-6 ~ 
   ¹AFTER THIS, Jesus let Himself be seen and revealed [Himself] again to the disciples, at the Sea of Tiberias. And He did it in this way:
    ²There were together Simon Peter, and Thomas, called the Twin, and Nathanael from Cana of Galilee, also the sons of Zebedee, and two others of His disciples.
    ³Simon Peter said to them, I am going fishing! They said to him, And we are coming with you! So they went out and got into the boat, and throughout that night they caught nothing.
    ⁴Morning was already breaking when Jesus came to the beach and stood there. However, the disciples did not know that it was Jesus.
    ⁵So Jesus said to them, ^[a]Boys (children), you do not have any meat (fish), do you? [Have you caught anything to eat along with your bread?] They answered Him, No!
    ⁶And He said to them, Cast the net on the right side of the boat and you will find [some]. So they cast the net, and now they were not able to haul it in for such a big catch (mass, quantity) of fish [was in it].