The Christmas hull-ba-loo is over and I can't say that I'm sad about it. It was wonderful (Christmas morning on the faces of a 4YO & 2YO), crazy (trying to keep the trio out of the tree was like herding cats), distressing (5:00pm Christmas Eve runs to Target are no fun), sad (missing my Grandmother and a little nostalgic for my childhood Christmas traditions) and humbling (wait for it...).
Hubby and I were given a major wake-up call about our lack of a church home this weekend when I was explaining to the girls that it was Baby Jesus' birthday and they asked, "Who's Baby Jesus? Is he at the North Pool with Buddy?" (4 YO translation: North POLE and our family's Elf on a Shelf).
Hubby and I were given a major wake-up call about our lack of a church home this weekend when I was explaining to the girls that it was Baby Jesus' birthday and they asked, "Who's Baby Jesus? Is he at the North Pool with Buddy?" (4 YO translation: North POLE and our family's Elf on a Shelf).
The most disturburbing part of the exchange was my response - or lack thereof: "Girls, Baby Jesus is the little baby in the set of animals and people on our table." and then.....nothing else. I had nothing else I could think of to explain to my 4 and 2 1/2 year old who Baby Jesus was. I felt a little like this:
Listen, I try to be the best mom and wife that I can. I want our family to be one of peace, love, thankfulness, charity, comfort and, finally, respectfulness for each other and the world as a whole. I feel as though I have been failing miserably, and being home on vacation these past fews days has highlighted my weaknesses.
I mean, c'mon! Everyday, I wake up and I strive to be this:
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| This chick does it all. Happy homemaker grocery shopping, doting mommy, rockin' businesswoman and marathoner. "Duh-DAH-dah-DUM!!..." And, if you don't remember this commercial, I'm feeling way too old. |
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| "No more wire hannnnnggggerrrrrssss!!!" |
with a side of this:
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| "What, y'all??" |
Brah-vo, Mommy Dearest...Brah-vo.
So, massive pity party aside, perhaps this self-depricating humor has really led me (in-hand with the season) to a rite of passage and I just didn't realize it until now. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE Christmas, but, in the dichotomy of all those emotions this past week, I have had a major realization: I am in a period of a life transition: I am no longer a rookie mom, young wife and entry-level employee. (Darn.) I am a middle-aged mom with young children, running into my forties (GAH!) and am now viewed by younger team members as one with "life experience." (Mother trucker!)
So, I contemplated, where does this leave me exactly? I am feeling as though I am a ship, floating without a sail (cue dramatic music here)...I am a tunnel with no light at the end...a chocolate cup with no peanut butter....(ahem - anywho).
I was having one of my beloved coffee chats with my best friend last week and we were discussing the start of the new year and our goal setting aspirations. I have always been a big goal-setter. Writing things down has been critical for my well-being and has always helped me level-set emotionally. But, not only do I have my goals (I hate the word "Resolutions"), I also like to set a "theme" for the year. I've done this since leaving college. Just a one-word, quick-hit that encompasses the general idea or focus for my year's goals. Last year, it was Peace. I tried to focus on ways that I could create peace inside and outside of my world. I'd like to think that I did a pretty good job of finding my own personal brand of Om. But, I know I still have a long way to go - in a lot of areas. I sat down last night and started to mull over what I'd like to accomplish in the year ahead. And, that's when I realized the impact and reality of this latest Major Transition (not to be confused with Major Award from "A Christmas Story").
I realized that my goals and my themes for the new year have changed with each major life transition. For your viewing pleasure, I present to you, Dear Reader, a snippet of the evolution of my New Year's Goals:
Kristen's New Year Goals - 1997
(1st year out of college)
Year's Theme: Organization!
1. Lose 5 pounds
2. Exercise 5X a week for an hour
3. Eat 3 veggies a day
4. Clean out car once a week and have detailed once a month
5. Stop smoking (yes, I used to do this in a past life...no flames, please)
6. Get a promotion
Kristen's New Year Goals - 2007
(1st year as new wife and mom to 1)
Year's Theme: Sanity!
1. Lose 10 pounds
2. Exercise 3X a week for 1/2 an hour
3. Eat one fruit or veggie each day
4. Clean out carseat once a month and find lost sippy cups under seat
5. Stop snacking
6. Get to work on time
Looking back on everything this year and previous years, I've discovered that this year is quite different for me. Some of my goals have continued to morph (see 1-3). But others have been dropped (hey, I am going to be realistic and own who I am and my limitations).
Kristen's New Year Goals - 2012
(1st year as middle-aged mom of 5 and wife)
Theme: Joy
1. Exercise
2. Eat one square meal a day
3. Find a church for our family
My list is shorter, but the work to be done to meet my theme is a much greater challenge than eating oranges instead of Oreos.
Joy.
There is a lot to be said for living a life of joy, I think. There is so much active thankfulness in living your life with joy - it's saying, not only am I happy (see post below), but I am living my life with purposefulness and intent. Joy is recognizing all of those little slices of heaven that God reveals in the good and bad that is the daily grind. Joy is spreading His spirit of love, forgiveness, beauty in the simplicity of it all, and doing it with abuntant gratitude. My children need to see a life lived with joy and a home full of God's love, grace and purpose. It's my job to teach them that - not to be everything or try to be it all, but, as their mother, to be a reflection of Him as our Father. I mean, really - God never worried about bringing home the bacon and frying it up in a pan all while never letting you for-get...(ha!). He wants His children to love Him, live their life to the fullest and be charitable - all things that we, as parents, want for our own. I realize that I don't have to try and be everything to everyone. I just need to be my best self and be joyful in it all - whether the moment is chaos or peace. The rest will fall into place.
Joy. Simple joy. Everything else is just gravy. I'm off to put the Cheetos away and hang up some clothes.
Happy New Year, y'all.
Stay tuned and much love...
I have told you these things, that My joy and delight may be in you, and that your joy and gladness may be of full measure and complete and overflowing. ~ John 15:11
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